‘Right,’ he began, half-gazing down at the magazine picture, ‘Kate M-, I mean, Kate Coleman, hasn’t made it in today. Illness, traffic, or going to fetch her Hallowe’en costume, I couldn’t hear the excuse over the phone very well…’

A chuckle murmured over the room.

‘So I’m afraid that today you have me. English is, after all, my first language - and you all already know it, so this lesson is going to be a piece of pis...tachio cake, right?’

The class guffawed. He had their attention now.

‘Right. Let’s give out these books,’ as he centred the pile in his hands. ‘I don’t know half your names, so I’ll just call them out and slap them down on the desk, see?’

He took the first. ‘Ah, Alan...

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