Every Friday morning the school gathered for Assembly, and today marked Neill’s first time presenting. He entered the front of the hall with an air of grandeur, in a deep resplendent blue suit, complemented by his blonde hair swept in a fresh washed texture as always, filling the hall with the smoothness and charisma of a seasoned politician (‘but a nice one, a really nice one,’ Natalia thought) as he offered sincere thanks to everyone for making him feel so welcome in his first week.

‘Where I come from,’ he declared, ‘we pronounce an A where you pronounce a U. Where you say ooh, I say ahh!’

The hall tittered.

‘So, if I tell you the door’s shut, I do not mean that it’s fouled itself.’  

Hoots of laughter scattered now,...

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