One morning, I woke up, and despite my best efforts, I was thirty.  I called it "25 Take Six" and "20-10."  My friends laughed at my absurdity, but I was serious - I would not turn thirty.

I had recently emerged from an eight year relationship – a break-up that necessitated a move half-way across the country, and a “Oh my gosh how do I function as a single person?!” five-month hiking trip with my best friend. I was living back in my parents’ house for the first time in 12 years, and working for pennies as a teacher in a private school.

I had expected to be solidly entrenched in a glittery career by the time I reached thirty. I had planned to be married, raising children, owning a home – doing adult things.  Waking up in my parents’ basement had not been part of the plan.

“So, YOU’RE 30!” read a well-intentioned but cruel text message on my phone.  I rolled out of bed and spent the day floating around a friend's pool, getting drunk and mourning my twenties.

This was almost a year ago now, and I’ve since taken long strides.  I moved out of my parents’ house, began a career in higher education, and paid off one of my student loans.  I’ve learned how to eradicate needless people from my life, assert myself when necessary, and ask for what I need.  I feel as though I’ve grown more in this one year than I did in the ten prior.

However, the challenge of "adulting" seems to have increased in its strength.  I have a solid job now, and an apartment.  What's next?  Do I want to get married and start a family?  If so, how do I meet someone?  Do I need to begin frequenting happy hours? Do I join a sports team? Do I (cringe) register for Tinder? 

And, what about career growth? How do I climb the career ladder? 

My commute to work requires me to ride the subway and then walk along a busy city avenue. All around me, professionals rush around, juggling coffee and laptop cases, speaking into their Bluetooth devices; putting forth the image of utter competence. 

I act this way also.  Is everyone just play-acting? 

So, this is thirty.  How do I become an adult?

This weekly "How-To" (or probably more aptly "How-To-Not") column will chronicle the daily triumphs and bewilderments of a clueless 30-something trying to navigate adulthood by working, dating and socializing in a city.