(Taps the microphone.) “Testing, testing, 1, 2, 3, testing.” Clearing my throat, I do a quick impromptu yell up to the sound crew. “Are we ready, guys?” My eyes are met with several thumbs up. Internally, I tell myself, “Okay, let’s go.”

            A quick exhale, and then I open. “Good evening, folks. My name is none of your business, and I… (loud nasally exhale) …believe in Bigfoot.”

                                                      &nb...

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