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Adult Fiction
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Humor

No Vacancy

No Vacancy is a collection of humorous personal essays. Each essay is independent of each other, but together the collection weaves an autobiographical tapestry, at times sad, bizarre, and deeply personal. No skeleton in her closet is safe.

Lisa tackles subjects including grand conspiracies, generation gaps, memory loss, aging, nostalgia, modern technology, Corporate America, airline industry, affairs, addiction, unorthodox relationships, male species, and female anatomy, to name just a few.

Uncharted

The world can be funny or terrifying depending on your outlook. Join our hero as he navigates the daily grind, experiencing life so you don't have to.

There's a monster in my bed. Oh wait. It's a baby.

No self-respecting modern woman wants a baby, until you do and then you’re stuffed.

There’s a monster in my bed. Oh wait. It’s a baby is a series of satirical columns about surviving life with a baby and a boyfriend in a modern world that forgot it’s not 1950 something.

Briana takes on all things babies and boyfriend as she discovers motherhood is like riding a wild horse that’s out of control. Only the horse is not a horse, it’s a donkey. And it’s going backwards.

Written with a lot of sarcasm, a little humor and not enough coffee by a woman who wishes she was Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

 

P.S. Don't Be Stupid

The first time Bennett Dixon finds a letter offering unsolicited advice from her dead grandmother, she chalks it up to hormones.

The second time she becomes a vegan, swears off sugar and vows to stop sleeping with people who aren’t her husband.

The third time Bennett begins to listen.

P.S. Don’t Be Stupid is a laugh out loud look at the ways we hide our imperfections from the world around us and how when we finally embrace ourselves, stupid choices and all,  we are capable of big, big magic.

But Wait There's More...

A heartsick and hysterical autobiographical account of events; that as peculiar as they sound, have occurred. 

Self depricating humor, that allows me to cope with the bewilderment that ended up being my life.

 

Spilled Gravy - Advice on Love, Life, & Acceptance from a Man Uniquely Unqualified to give it

A witty take on recovery, romance, and showbiz—from a gifted comedian and award-winning writer.

Carcerated Grammar

In the outside world, writers starve to have their words consumed and considered. On the inside, every 'letter' is sacred and sav(i)ored.

In a nutshell, it's correspondence between a guy and woman in prison... and another guy with the same name... and occasional other characters (you know how destiny and randomness go.)

---

Pseudo-accolades for Carcerated Grammer's  Weekly / Biweekly / Monthly 'Cerealized' (sic) Prison Correspondence

 

"'Carcerated Grammer' is... well, what can I say? I've never read anything quite like it. it goes well with pie."

- Larry Jacoby 'The Colored Sightglass'

 

"I feel for Bianca but I suppose, I'd read anything sent to me in prison too."

- Harriette Fairline 'The Long Island Shore Woman Gazette'

 

"the age old adage you can't polish a turd, well the only thing here easy on the eyes is thanks to the yellow paper it's written on.

- Tony Cima 'Hoffman Hot Rods Fanzine.'

The Let Downs

The Let Downs is a series about terrible human beings who do terrible things. It is a series of counter-culture-esque short stories, flash fictions, and poems not meant for the faint of heart. If you like reading about sex, drugs, and alcohol, this is the series for you. From parents to truck drivers to teenage kids, this is a series about all of the horrors in the world, about the abhorred people who are worse than any fiction story can portray, but more importantly, these are stories about us. We are the Let Downs. 

Hellbound

"I will execute great vengeance on them with wrathful rebukes. Then they will know that I am the Lord, when I lay my vengeance upon them.” -Ezekiel 25:17

Little does anyone know, the end of the world is about to begin in a small town in southern Indiana, and a sarcastic diner-owner named John may be the world’s only hope to keep from being sucked into Hell…

After a large sinkhole devours Ezekiel, Indiana’s historic gazebo in the middle of the night, John awakens to discover that nearly all the citizens of his small town have begun acting out their most prominent of the seven deadly sins, while those not affected have packed up and abandoned the town with little to no notice at all. Over the next few days, John and his best friend navigate their way through people they once knew acting in unimaginable ways, a group of Bible-thumping citizens convinced the sinners of Ezekiel must pay the ultimate price, and a TV evangelist offering his expertise as a way to cleanse the town of evil… for a price, all while realizing John may be the only person on the planet with the ability to stop the town, and eventually the rest of the world, from going straight to Hell.

The events of HELLBOUND continue in part 2, HELLION:

The end was just the beginning...

It's been six months since a diner-owner from Indiana sacrificed himself to stop the entire world from being sucked into Hell, and things have changed drastically. Faith has been rediscovered, bringing with it mandatory church-attendance laws and dangerously hypocritical hate groups hell-bent on converting everyone to a new form of Christianity referred to by some as “Jesuslam”

But Jude Vale thinks it's all a load of crap.

Having been sent away to a prestigious Christian boarding school in Washington, Jude has made it his life's goal to defy any and all religious laws put in place since "The Ezekiel Incident," to the point of being placed on a watch list by the nation's most notorious religious group, MoOS. It isn't long before Jude finds himself segregated from his peers and questioning his own sanity when everything he says begins to come true and those around him (friend and foe alike) begin dying in inexplicable accidents.

And when a new student with a dark secret appears on St. Dunstan's campus, Jude begins begins to realize he may be the antichrist--the one human destined to bring forth the end times and put the world at risk of apocalyptic destruction... again.

Lines in the Gravel

Lines in the Gravel is an engaging, often humorous, series of snapshots about Al Ainsworth's experiences growing up in rural Star, Mississippi. It is one story—told by a collection of stories—of family and faith that transcends his own experience to connect with others who seek to perpetuate their own values through the stories they tell…and re-tell.

MAKE POETRY GREAT AGAIN!

It's understood that people hate poetry. A lot. But why? How do we bring them back to see poetry's power?

Too wordy, too easy to get lost, what was the point? That's what people say.

Equally poignant and humorous while tackling today's subjects, Make Poetry Great Again needs your vote to build a wall between you and your disdain for poetry!

Adventures with the Medical Brigade

One writer. A city full of medical professionals. Time to keep up with the Drs. Jones. 

Follow Amy through various awkward encounters and strange experiences while she tries to define herself as a creative writer in a city completely devoted to practical medicine. "Bohemian Rhapsody" meets Grey's Anatomy in this kooky but true clash of right brain/left brain living.

F**K YOU, CAMERA GUY!

F**KYCG is a comedy series about two couples who participate in a competitive reality show. They will have to live their everyday lives under the eyes of a camera guy who will do anything to make the show a lot more entertaining.

The Gulmohur Tales

East meets west in these tales of honor, intrigue and humor as the lives of everyday characters intersect only to become inextricably intertwined. The result is a tapestry celebrating one humanity.

1. Hooghly's Child
A young member of a growing Indian resistance finds himself and his toddler stalked by assassins in 1876 Calcutta as a Swedish couple seeks distraction from a sorrow that unites them.

2. The Appointment
It is 1987 and seven-year-old Niyaz has the chance to emigrate to America. The future holds endless possibilities.

3. Bus To Triplicane
John Perry and his local guide, Asif, take a bus ride in the Madras metropolis of South India. John runs into a spot of trouble.

4. A Mall Encounter
Vinod Belchada sees the killer of his parents in a shopping mall, or so he imagines.

5. Lunch On Lower Wacker
Little Zeenat makes a trip to the mosque downtown to join her Girl Scout troop in packing lunches for the homeless. She has a heart-warming experience as she gives away the last of the lunches.

6. The Wager
Young India is finding its voice in this little story set in 1904. William Mortimer makes a wager with his wife, but the Indian boys he engages to win his bet have a wager of their own.

7. A Change Of Heart
A suicide bomber in a Chicago cafe has a change of heart, but his plan is set in motion and his body is trained to execute. 

8. Living
Age and mental illness have taken their toll on a veteran, but he still recognizes love and service when he sees it.

9. The Sound Of Bangles
Matthew Lambton is robbed of his merchandise and left wounded on a dirt road in 1763 Agra, India. A sweet village girl takes him to her home where Lambton matches wits with the girl's grandmother and finds himself at a loss for words.

10. For Here Or To Go
A young and bright programmer experiences the stresses of American acculturation on his first day in the States.

Work In Progress

Abigail Nolan wants it all....by the time she is 30. 

Looking forward to celebrating her 29th Birthday, she arrives at work only to find a pink slip for a present.  If she thought things couldn't get any worse, they do when her fiance of 2 years breaks it off the same day.

Devastated, she has no other choice but to move back in with her parents. With nobody wanting to hire her or marry her, she finds herself back at square one. 

Cramped in her family home with no privacy and endless social media updates of her friends being promoted, getting married or having babies- it all finally gets to her. After a few self pity parties and a lot of wine, she decides enough is enough!

She begins a journal to boost her confidence. Soon she gets a new job at the local Quik Copy and agrees to go on her first date in years. Things are looking up!

What begins as a motivational vice, her journal entries quickly turn into the humorous antics of a newly single gal.

Follow Abigail's journey in her own words as she reinvents herself and learns that having it all may not be what life is really all about!

 

Diary of a nearly new Mum

Being a new Mum is a venture into the unknown. Forget whatever you had planned, this diary is about what really happens.

Each story is a week in the life of our new English Mum facing her latest trial, be it weaning, returning to work or the yoga class. 

There's frustration and joy, friends full of advice and help, plenty of accidental comedy and cake but very little sleep along the way. 

Burn Bags

burn bag - noun \bərn bāg\ : the informal name given to a paper bag that holds classified documents no longer useful which are to be destroyed by fire.

Sailors working within Naval Intelligence desperately anticipate their purpose in a new era as the Cold War quickly comes to an end. Names have been changed to protect the guilty and lessen the shame of the innocent bystander. May God have mercy on our souls.

 

Musings of a Champagne Addict

Join me the first and third Friday of every month for the unfiltered ramblings of a flawed, single woman trying to make it as a romance author.

Female Anonymous

Humorous short stories depicting female characters.

What a Life! What a Day!

How does Mona Lisa spend her day? What does Mr. Plod have for breakfast? What does the Man in the Moon think of us here on earth? Find out in What a Life! What a Day! A spoof of the UK's Sunday Times series, A Life in the Day, WaLWaD asks famous mythical, literary or biblical figures, or even objects or concepts, to describe a typical day. Humorous, irreverent, instructive, or just plain wacky, WalWaD will have you thinking outside the box even as you chuckle. Every Monday, starting 1st June.

View a complete list of ongoing and completed series here.



No Vacancy is a collection of humorous personal essays. Each essay is independent of each other, but together the collection weaves an autobiographical tapestry, at times sad, bizarre, and deeply personal. No skeleton in her closet is safe.

Lisa tackles subjects including grand conspiracies, generation gaps, memory loss, aging, nostalgia, modern technology, Corporate America, airline...View Series



The world can be funny or terrifying depending on your outlook. Join our hero as he navigates the daily grind, experiencing life so you don't have to.

 View Series


No self-respecting modern woman wants a baby, until you do and then you’re stuffed.

There’s a monster in my bed. Oh wait. It’s a baby is a series of satirical columns about surviving life with a baby and a boyfriend in a modern world that forgot it’s not 1950 something.

Briana takes on all things babies and boyfriend as she discovers motherhood is like...View Series



The first time Bennett Dixon finds a letter offering unsolicited advice from her dead grandmother, she chalks it up to hormones.

The second time she becomes a vegan, swears off sugar and vows to stop sleeping with people who aren’t her husband.

The third time Bennett begins to listen.

P.S. Don’t Be Stupid is a laugh out loud look at the ways we hide our imperfections...View Series



A heartsick and hysterical autobiographical account of events; that as peculiar as they sound, have occurred. 

Self depricating humor, that allows me to cope with the bewilderment that ended up being my life.

 

 View Series


A witty take on recovery, romance, and showbiz—from a gifted comedian and award-winning writer.

 View Series


In the outside world, writers starve to have their words consumed and considered. On the inside, every 'letter' is sacred and sav(i)ored.

In a nutshell, it's correspondence between a guy and woman in prison... and another guy with the same name... and occasional other characters (you know how destiny and randomness go.)

---

Pseudo-accolades for...View Series



The Let Downs is a series about terrible human beings who do terrible things. It is a series of counter-culture-esque short stories, flash fictions, and poems not meant for the faint of heart. If you like reading about sex, drugs, and alcohol, this is the series for you. From parents to truck drivers to teenage kids, this is a series about all of the horrors in the world, about the abhorred people who are...View Series


"I will execute great vengeance on them with wrathful rebukes. Then they will know that I am the Lord, when I lay my vengeance upon them.” -Ezekiel 25:17

Little does anyone know, the end of the world is about to begin in a small town in southern Indiana, and a sarcastic diner-owner named John may be the world’s only hope to keep from being sucked into...View Series



Lines in the Gravel is an engaging, often humorous, series of snapshots about Al Ainsworth's experiences growing up in rural Star, Mississippi. It is one story—told by a collection of stories—of family and faith that transcends his own experience to connect with others who seek to perpetuate their own values through the stories they tell…and re-tell.

 View Series


It's understood that people hate poetry. A lot. But why? How do we bring them back to see poetry's power?

Too wordy, too easy to get lost, what was the point? That's what people say.

Equally poignant and humorous while tackling today's subjects, Make Poetry Great Again needs your vote to build a wall between you and your disdain for poetry!

 View Series


One writer. A city full of medical professionals. Time to keep up with the Drs. Jones. 

Follow Amy through various awkward encounters and strange experiences while she tries to define herself as a creative writer in a city completely devoted to practical medicine. "Bohemian Rhapsody" meets Grey's Anatomy in this kooky but true clash of right...View Series



F**KYCG is a comedy series about two couples who participate in a competitive reality show. They will have to live their everyday lives under the eyes of a camera guy who will do anything to make the show a lot more entertaining.

 View Series


East meets west in these tales of honor, intrigue and humor as the lives of everyday characters intersect only to become inextricably intertwined. The result is a tapestry celebrating one humanity.

1. Hooghly's Child
A young member of a growing Indian resistance finds himself and his toddler stalked by assassins in 1876 Calcutta as a Swedish couple seeks distraction...View Series



Abigail Nolan wants it all....by the time she is 30. 

Looking forward to celebrating her 29th Birthday, she arrives at work only to find a pink slip for a present.  If she thought things couldn't get any worse, they do when her fiance of 2 years breaks it off the same day.

Devastated, she has no other choice but to move back in with her parents. With nobody wanting...View Series



Being a new Mum is a venture into the unknown. Forget whatever you had planned, this diary is about what really happens.

Each story is a week in the life of our new English Mum facing her latest trial, be it weaning, returning to work or the yoga class. 

There's frustration and joy, friends full of advice and help, plenty of accidental comedy and cake but very little...View Series



burn bag - noun \bərn bāg\ : the informal name given to a paper bag that holds classified documents no longer useful which are to be destroyed by fire.

Sailors working within Naval Intelligence desperately anticipate their purpose in a new era as the Cold War quickly comes to an end. Names have been changed to protect the guilty and lessen the shame of the innocent...View Series



Join me the first and third Friday of every month for the unfiltered ramblings of a flawed, single woman trying to make it as a romance author.

 View Series


Humorous short stories depicting female characters.

 View Series


How does Mona Lisa spend her day? What does Mr. Plod have for breakfast? What does the Man in the Moon think of us here on earth? Find out in What a Life! What a Day! A spoof of the UK's Sunday Times series, A Life in the Day, WaLWaD asks famous mythical, literary or biblical figures, or even objects or concepts, to describe a typical day. Humorous, irreverent, instructive,...View Series

View a complete list of ongoing and completed series here.