his voice is gone, but
disapproval
lingers in my mind
i'm obsessed
with looking sideways in mirrors
hands pressing my stomach in
i'm struggling
my stomach must be flat
flat!
but i'm a woman
and i have, you know
a uterus
and i like to eat
and i'm in my fifties, dammit
i'm allowed to relax, aren't i?
but every time i do
every time the tension finally eases
i look in the mirror
and my mind whispers
is my waist thin enough?
is there still a gap between my thighs?
is my stomach
flat?

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