You left me standing there, all dressed in black, something that became my every day go to thing, for a while now at the bus stop that I would visit for years on end. It was cold now too and the clouds felt as though they could cave in over the world but then a spark of light which hit the right corner of my face reminded me that though you were gone you would not be gone forever at least not for my heart and at least not for my soul. I never really felt the coldness with you around. It was you who would guide me through my entire college career because you wanted to make sure I completed things and not later regret never having done a thing with my life.

                               Head set on ears from when I bought my first cd player  blasting songs oh so eclectic in taste from county, to gangster southern rap to goth rock and classical. It was you who shined on me as the bus came, my bus pass in hand white with orange writing tattered at the ends due to constant use. For a while now the schedule was nothing new I was always ready to leave ready to head home. The coldness around me went away as I hopped on a bus where soon pre-teenage children laughed at each other of things that never made sense to me. I always thought to myself how I never remember being like that. Loud mouthed boys always swearing when they got on the bus making fun of people older than them and with lack of respect. I felt good to know that within these strangers I was not alone.

                               Though I could not see you, you where there with me. Your smile, your 5'10 figure with your arms crossed one over the other sometimes I saw you in my mind and heart wearing your work uniforms and other times you weren't in those recognizable clothe. But I knew it was you there visiting to let me know I was not alone. For that I thank you because no one else admitted to feeling your presence as much as I did. Parts of me even started acting and moving like you did. It is not until now that I sit away and apart from that old me that I realize that all along you had not left me because both you and God  made sure I was well taken care of. You did all you could to make sure I wasn't one of his lost sheep and instead you held me up when I felt myself fall deeper into nonexistence.