No Ducks to Give
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     T-- wanted to hang out downtown in the swanky hotel bars on Friday night. “Come on,” he said, “we’ll wear suits and pretend we’re here on business.”

     I told him to stop watching so much TV.

     He went without me and met the girl of his dreams.

     He called to tell me all about it. To stay in character, he snuck away to rent a room, but the front desk booked him for both nights because it was the weekend. He cooked up some story for the woman about the airline losing his stuff, and then he sent the concierge on a secret mission for clothes and luggage. T-- and the woman never left the hotel. He bought every drink and every meal.

     The charade had cost him thousands of...

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