T-- is my best friend and sometimes that makes me sad. He’s bananas.

     More than anything in the world, he wants to be married.

     He once borrowed a baby to meet women in the park.

     He has hosted a Pampered Chef party.

     Tonight, he called looking for some advice. Not about women, but about pets.

     “Did you have any growing up?” he asked me.

     “Well,” I said, “my grandmother lived with us for about a month before she died.”

     “I’m serious,” he said. “I’m thinking about a monkey.”

     “Why not a dog or a betta fish?”

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