The New Me
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     I stopped buttering my broccoli. I use less cream in my coffee.

     I’m a new man. People are noticing.

     They say I look taller.

     I bought a shirt with pinstripes to keep them thinking that.

     Instead of pizza and turkey sandwiches at night, I’m eating salad. I go to bed hungry, but I’m getting compliments at work.

     People say things like, “Hey, nice shirt.”

     When people say things like that, it inspires you to go out and buy another shirt.

     One of the popular girls was the first to compliment my newest shirt. “Hey,” she said. “Nice shirt.”

     I was flummoxed. She...

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