Tiny Monster is one. A whole year of complaining and changing nappies and feeding her and mostly keeping her alive has passed. But instead of society rewarding me with a much needed party, Tiny Monster is rewarded. And she’s rewarded for not doing much other than being really cute sometimes and obnoxious other times. Society has really let me down.

MJ and I had a rainbow themed party in the park because Tiny Monster was born during the Sydney Mardi Gras. But instead of making the annual pilgrimage to watch gays dance on floats and ride bikes and spinkle glitter over the entire country, I spent the Mardi Gras screaming at people I’d never met before and having every shred of dignity ripped from me. Yep. It was a fun time.

The party was fun even though none of the presents were for me,...

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