Having a Tiny Monster is code for ‘sacrifice’.

I assumed the sacrifices would be limited to coffee being drunk cold and having showers that were limited to three minutes, both of which I was well versed in.

I was all over it.

So I thought.

I owned a café/restaurant for over a decade. This meant my coffee was always drunk cold. Customers thought since they were paying customers they had a right to prompt service and they didn’t care about the temperature of my coffee, the rude bastards.  

During my second year at boarding school Australia experienced a debilitating drought so our showers were limited to three minutes. We had to ‘do our part for the farmers’. The boarding matron used to stand outside the shower with a timer and...

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