I feel as though, I can legit paraphrase my beloved Jane here, and say, Reader, I ... 

I what? 

I want to give up some times. I want to be successful at everything I touch. I want nicer co-workers. 

I want a home for my family. Somewhere for just my husband and I (and our animals). No extended family. 

I want to say I lost more weight than I did. 

I want my dream to be a reality. 

Because, you see - Monday night, I dreamed that my father was still alive. And not just alive, but alive and FIXED. Whole. Healthy. Happy. 

And I cried a lot. Even slept in when I should have been at the gym. 

And today? Well reader, I said, "I'll have to ask my dad." 

And it broke my heart all over again. 

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