Hello :) 

Even though I write (historical romance) and talk about that on my Author blog, this is actually harder than I thought. There is neither rhyme nor reason to this journal. It is just something I needed to do for myself. 

Today marks one day since I lost the absolute most important person in my life, my father. He was 81 years old - I will be 40 in just under two months. See, he had Inclusion Body Myosits. By the end, he could barely walk so he was confined to one floor of his home, in a powered chair. He had not been able to eat for at least one year, and was reduced to a feeding tube. One of the dangers of IBM is aspiration of the lungs. He had to go have mucous cleared out of his throat every few months. 

The Friday before we said good bye, he went to the ER to have his lungs cleared, and he just kind of collapsed. My brother and I, 6 hours away, drove through the night to support my Step-mom and be with him. We were told there was improvement, so we returned home on Monday. On Thursday, we had to return and take him off the ventilator because there was no going back. He could not breath on his own any longer. 

I got to hold his hand while he passed, but even today - I am not handling this well. I can only be thankful I have the support of my husband and that my daddy is in a Heaven I don't actually believe in. 

I kept myself so damned busy today, in an effort to not think about it. I thought, I won't even write about it. But how can I not? He is the single most influential person in my life. Was. 

So, here we are. I have no idea what I am going to do here. Shall I bore you with details of myself? Yes. Thank you. (Distractions so the tears can stop, tyvm.)

As I said, I will be 40 soon. Married 10 years this coming January. No human children, but we have adopted three dogs and two cats. We share a house with my brother. It works for now. As I mentioned ^^^ I am a writer. No, I am not yet getting paid for it. I've no formal training, and I do it in my spare time because I do work full time. And I'm starting back to school to finish my Accounting Degree. Plus, I'm not sure it's any good. When I actually finish something, I guess we'll see. 

So, that's me. I hope you come back.