Once the ridiculous drama over the toaster and nearly burning down the library had evaporated. I had to get on with life. I’ve been trying to find a good moment to tell my friends about me and Alex and I admitted in the end that there’s no such thing as a good moment.

I decided instead to be ruthlessly efficient about the entire thing. I could take out an advert in the local paper but most of my mates don’t read a newspaper. I could change my status on my social media, but that definitely wouldn’t alert Kitty or Linda - some people choose not to be online, I’ve no idea why.

It crossed my mind to deploy a sky-writing airplane or display a poster on the library noticeboard. Actually, now that I think about it, I probably should have just asked Bob the Library Bear to...

Please subscribe to keep reading.