Wars have been fought over large and small things. The kings and queens of ancient Ireland once fought over who had the best bull, for example. Hundreds died, legends were created, and Queen Maeve won. The French Revolution started over the price of bread (amongst other reasons), the American revolutionaries tipped some tea into a harbour. It’s not unusual for wars to start over the most minor of excuses.

And so it was this week with the Toast Wars. Nobody died, thank goodness but there was plenty of drama, and flames.

If Alex had been around perhaps he might have poured oil on troubled water but he’s away with his crew at a rowing event in Cork. They really did pour oil on water. Lifeboats used to carry a bag of oil. Even a small film of oil, one molecule thick, can reduce the swell...

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