I read somewhere once that the worst April Fool’s prank you could play on a librarian was to falsely announce there was cake in the break room. That would cause a riot in our library. Luckily neither of my colleagues are fond of pranks, although I did wonder about them at one stage today.

Today, after several months of repeated false fire alarms, Frank the fire inspector having a meltdown, and our discovery of the emergency fire exit door opening onto a solid brick wall, we were finally ready to run a proper fire drill in Castle Bailey Library.

This was going to be my chance to shine. After all, I organised the inspection, the new company to maintain the alarm, and hunted down the Library HQ builders who left a strange hole in Boss Lady’s office wall. Naturally I’d drafted the fir...

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