I have four kids.

I have one girl in college, two boys in high school, and another daughter in elementary school.

As you may have guessed, I have a fully stocked liquor cabinet and literally no hair left on my head. Comparing before and after photos of non-parents and parents is like comparing photos of salmon before and after they spawn.

Before: Normal looking salmon.

After: ARRGGHHLBRRGLLL angry salmon with permanent scowl.

The same is with parenting. This is why spas exist and why they don't allow children in. THIS IS A SAFE PLACE FOR ADULTS, KIDS. YOU'RE THE REASON MOM NEEDS CUCUMBERS ON HER FACE IN THE FIRST PLACE.

As you go through the parenting experience you realize that you not a whole hell of a lot of wisdom will come out your childs mouth at any given t...

Please subscribe to keep reading.