I hate crying.

Always have, always will.

It leaves me feeling so naked inside.

His words still play on a constant loop in my head. Each new time around, they hurt a little more. My guilt wants to accept them as truth, even though I did my part! I tried to die!

My role in this thing was clear long ago. Still, the moment he pulled me off that mountain, we were all dead. Maybe it is my fault. I’m the one who couldn’t even throw myself off a cliff right… So, when I let him take me back to that town, I became responsible for everything that happened after that. The only part I didn’t ask for was being made into a monster. Besides that, every minute of suffering, every drop of blood, is on me. All of it.

I can’t be here...

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