Boston, Massachusetts

August 21, 1817

 

I have lost it all today; my sanity, my home, even my humanity. The Shawn McAllister everyone knew is gone, he has become something no one would want to be around, and I’m still not sure how it happened. It started out as an ordinary night, no different from any other, but in the blink of an eye that all changed. In mare seconds, I was transformed into something inhuman, something I cannot begin to comprehend yet. As of writing this, I have no idea what is going to become of me. All I know is that I can never go back, not after what I have done.

The night started out so innocently too as I had just finished up work at the market. Closing up my stall I set off for the monthly town meeting at the Old North Church. Stopping in front of a store window, I frowned at my disheveled appearance. Fixing the black ribbon in my slick ponytail and readjusting the rounded spectacles on my face, I set off for my destination.

 The evening was chilly, as the autumn air was starting to creep in, and the blue moon was full. I stopped to admire it for a bit too long and was now running late. Deciding to take a shortcut, I made my way to the dock of the harbor when I heard a woman’s voice calling for help. Not one to leave a damsel in distress I headed straight for fishing wharf where the screams were coming from.

Rounding the corner past the fish market, I came across an unruly sight. A dozen or so drunken sailors were in the process of assaulting a young maiden. Poor girl had to have been only sixteen or so, far too young to pleasure these men of her own free will. The savage ruffians had already torn her skirt and had her bodice partially off. I could not stand idly by and watch such a helpless creature fall victim to these barbarians, so I did the only decent thing a young man in my position could do; I tapped one of the sailors on the shoulders and told him to unhand the girl.

Seemingly, that did not go over the way I had expected. The hoodlum did unhand the girl, and she ran as fast as she could in the opposite direction. However, this meant their drunken rage was focused on me now. The man whose shoulder I tapped had me pinned down to a stack of wooden crates, as he pulled out a dull fishing knife from the waist of his pants. His friends had surrounded me in the short time I was there, no way was I getting out of this unharmed.

Politely I attempted to talk my way out of this, trying to reason with men who did not obey the laws of our civilized society. All my pleas and bargaining fell on deaf ear as one of the sailors landed a blow square on my jaw. His hardened fist connected with a crunch across my cheekbone, sending my head flying to the side. The man who was holding me jabbed the knife into my gut, sending a dull pain into my groin.

I’m not sure if it was the pain of my assault or the situation I had managed to get myself into, but I felt an uncontrollable rage take over me. Suddenly the muscles in my body were on fire, my fingernails felt as if they were being pulled out from their nail beds. I had an unexplainable headache as my jaw felt like it was being broken and pieced back together by an unskilled doctor. I had no idea what happened to me, but I felt stronger, wilder. It seems as if a long-forgotten beast had been released from captivity.

I don’t remember much of what happened next. I just remember the rage that was flowing through me, I was incapable of calming down. The drunk sailors were screaming and stumbling about, it looked as if I was looking down on them from atop a high steeple. The world was strange, many shades of green, and even in the dark, I could see as if it was broad daylight. I let out a fearsome howl as I tilted my head to the moon, and the last thing I saw was red, a burgundy curtain enshrouded me.

By the time the madness subsided, the docks of the harbor I was standing on were stained a dark crimson. I was covered in fur from head to toe, my solid mass hovering over the mangled bodies of the sailors. On my hands were long, razor-sharp claws that still had warm blood dripping from the tips. From my jaw hung an arm of one of the unfortunate men who had tried to teach the wrong person a lesson. I could taste the sweet, metallic taste of fresh blood as I glanced around at the mess I made.

Around me, parts of the sailors covered the docks. There was not much left of them, just an unrecognizable heap of body parts and stained clothing. I had no idea what I had become, or even how I became afflicted with such a terrible curse. I needed time to think, to process everything that has happened to me, but first I needed to run, and fast. Even before I had calmed myself, I picked up on the faint sound of voices coming from the distance. Undoubtedly these were the men from the church, attracted to my location by my howl and the terrified screams of the men I killed.

In a panic, I looked around for a quick exit or at least a place to hide. If the men found me in this position, they would surely kill me without mercy. Perhaps that is what I deserved for what I had done, but I did not wish to die, I still wanted a chance to live. I continued to spin around in delirium, but the city I have known so well all my life has become unrecognizable. No longer had I any idea where I was, or where I should go. The same rage was beginning to simmer again, and I was afraid I would murder everyone in town when a faint sound from the docks caught my attention.

Psst. The sound filled my ears again, I did not imagine this extradentary stroke of luck. I spun around in the direction it came from. There, by the pier stood a weather-beaten old sea dog, waving me over closer. Inching forward I noticed he was trying to usher me into his small sailing boat, dubbed The Black Rose.

I looked at the old man, awestruck. He bundled up in his worn, blue wool jacket and waved me over again, seemingly unconcerned by what has become of me. His lack of concern made me wary about trusting him, but as the lights grew closer in the distance, I saw no other choice. I leaped and bound for the small boat that was barely large enough for three people, let alone some monstrous creature. As I jumped into its wooden hull, it swayed and bobbed under my weight.

The old salt was right behind me, pushing the boat into the bay and climbing on board. Fixing the cap that sat on his head, he readjusted the sails, and we were on our way, bound for the ocean. As the boat swayed in the rough waters of the harbor, the lights came into view on the docks. My ears picked up on terrified screams and hushed whispers, by morning the whole city would be on the hunt for a mythical beast.

With the wharf safely behind us, I finally had the chance to catch a glimpse of what had become of me in the mirror-like surface of the ocean water. There, under the light of the full moon, I saw what I had turned into as a hideous creature stared back at me from within the waves. Half wolf, half man, and all beast.

The creature looking back at me was half as tall as the mast of the tiny sailing vessel. Its massive body was covered in dark brown fur, much like the color of my own hair. My chest was stained with the burgundy blood of the men I ripped apart, while my canine snout was full of pearly white fangs. The eyes that reflected back at me did not seem as if they were my own, their luminous hazel glow sparkled on the black surface of the water.

 Clutching my head with the razor-sharp talons of my hands I pulled at my ears, trying in desperation to rip them off. The sense of rage which made me turn into this creature was beginning to boil over again, I could feel myself losing control. Swiftly rising to my feet, I arched myself backward and let out a haunting howl that sailed across the quiet harbor. The madness was beginning to retake hold of me, I was desperate to control it, I did not wish to kill again.

The boat captain did not seem phased by me as he quietly stood up and placed his gentle hand on my shoulder.“Take it, easy son. You just had ye first change boy, that’s all, it ain’t permeant.” He said in a hoarse, fatherly voice which seemed to have a calming effect on me. “What be yer name anyhow?”

“McAllister,” I replied while I settled myself back down. “Shawn McAllister.”

“And yer age boy?”

“Eighteen, sir.”

“Ah, well then…” he looked at me solemnly while shaking his head “…hope ye like bein’ eighteen, cause you’ll stay this age for a while.”

I did not dare say a word to him, I looked down on my lap in shame. What he meant by me being eighteen for a while, I did not quite understand. Then again, I did not much understand any of what was happening to me, but something told me I would get my answers soon enough. The man had to be taking me to one of the outer islands, as such a small vessel would not be able to hold up to the rough waters past the harbor. The only question remaining now is: which one is he taking me to, and what is he planning to do to me once we get there?

So it was, we sat there in silence, with me not even daring to make eye contact with the old captain, until Thompson Island came into view. The old man rose to his feet and readjusted the sails so the boat could glide to a small wooden dock situated on the east side of the island. There, waiting for us, was a lovely Native woman, no older than forty years old. Nestled in her arms was a bundle of clothing and a wool blanket.

When the boat was secured to the dock, I got off and hid in the shadows, far too embraced of my appearance. Much to my surprise, the woman was not repulsed by what I looked like. Instead, she came over and took me by the hand, holding my giant paw in hers. She gave me a warm look as she stroked the fur on the back of my hand.

“It’s alright. No need to be afraid.” She spoke gently. “I’m one of you, I can help you regain your human form.”

I recoiled, bewildered by her confession. How could such a lovely woman possibly be the thing I had turned into? And how many more of these creatures were out there, waiting to be found? So many questions  I wished could be answered for me, so many things I am yet to understand about this strange new world I have discovered myself in. I intended to ask this woman everything I wanted to know, but first, I wanted to be a man again.

“Alright” I nodded my head. “Show me.”

“It is not a matter of showing you but telling you how it is done. You shift into beast form when you give in to your rage, but you can shift into a wolf or human as well. To become a wolf, you focus on what connects you to nature. To turn human, you focus on what connects you to your humanity. This is how our kind has functioned for centuries, blending in with the men and beast alike.”

There was nothing I could think of that would get me back to my humanity, such a task had never been presented to me before. I thought long and hard, and I kept coming up with the same image, one of my younger brother. He was ten years younger than me, and I had always felt it was my duty to take care of him. We were as close as we could have been, given our age difference, he had been my world for the longest time.

Remembering my brother, I recalled he had given me a pendant this morning as a birthday present. It was not much, just an arrowhead tied to a rope, but it was the most thoughtful gift I’ve gotten. I grasped at my neck, to my relief it still hung there, unaffected by my change. Holding it in my giant paw I began to think of my brother, and my body began to burn. Collapsing to the ground on my knees, I screamed from the pain, and as suddenly as it had started, it was over.

I found myself kneeling on the ground, sans the fur, and completely naked. The woman draped a blanket over my body, and the captain came over and handed me a bundle of clothing. Wrapping the warm wool over my shivering frame, I headed for the bushes to change into the attire I had been given. The captain did not question me, why would he, there was no place on this island I could run and hide.

The garb seemed to fit me remarkably well, almost as if it was made for me. Stepping out of the bushed I handed a folded-up blanket to the woman. She and the captain smiled warmly at me and then ushered me to follow along. Compliantly, I trailed behind, all the while wondering what they would have in store for me.

“Yer probably have a lot of questions boy,” the captain was oddly jolly in his remarks, “but don’t ye worry, me wife and I will explain everything.”

Without saying a word, I bobbed my head and followed along. We continued to navigate in the dark through a thicket of trees until a warm light shone in the distance. The soft yellow glow felt like a welcoming beacon in the gloom of night. Slowly, in the remote clearing, a small wood cabin appeared in my sight. Made of carefully stacked weathered logs, it looked like a welcoming refuge from the outside world.

Walking through a small door, I was greeted by a man in a dark cassock.  A wave of panic washed over me, I thought for sure they brought a priest in to kill me. I was about to jump out the window and run, but the reassuring hand of the captain squeezed my shoulder. Seeing no other alternative, I joined the man at the table to learn of my fate. 

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