guidelines governing interaction.

To look inside oneself and find either nothing recognisable, or something unstable, is terrifying - and so looking inside is avoided at all costs. We react with extreme emotion when that hidden part is threatened with exposure, and we become paranoid that others might notice. But we hide it well, because we employ what has become known as The Chameleon.

The Chameleon is the act of mirroring the person with whom you are interacting, because that’s the easiest option. It is often automatic, and is the ultimate defence mechanism for people with BPD. Mirroring somebody puts them at ease and encourages them to bond with you – easing your fear of abandonment. At the same time, it deflects attention from your own lack of self by creating an image of a confiden...

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