I wish I had a show on Food Network. I want to cook an amazing dish in an immaculate kitchen, with my 'mise en place' sliced, diced and ready to roll. I want to have gorgeous make up and shiny hair while I explain how to whip egg whites into meringue. I want to strut from fridge to stove in designer jeans  without any flour stains on them.

I bet my Raviloi with Lemon Cream Sauce would be a smash. I bet I could do a whole show on DIY tablescapes. I bet I'd have a smile bigger than Paula Deen's hair.  I bet Bobby Flay and I would make out.

This would obviously not be a reality show. If I had a cooking reality show, I'd make ravioli in a cluttered kitchen.  I'd look for small bowls for my 'mise en place' and they'd all tumble out of...

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