Our house has the worst toilets in the history of toilets.

We have four bathrooms. Each bathroom has a different style toilet, but they all suck the same amount.  Not a day goes by that I don't hear, "Mom! I plugged the toilet!"  My people are not flushing toothbrushes down there, or eating an inordinate amount of fiber, the toilets are that terrible.

"Why don't you buy new toilets and stop your bitching", you may be asking. Well, have you priced toilets? I have. My husband and I spent two hours of precious kid free-date night time, pricing new commodes. 

The automatic doors blew my hair back and we entered the home improvement big box store in slow motion, like we were in a Beyoncé video. The possibility of new porcelain in our bat...

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