Written 17/02/16

Post-hospital days, some are worse than others. Straight after getting out, it was really either just one of two feelings – in agonising pain or perfectly fine. The former usually occurred when my script of high-dose pregabalin and tramadol hadn’t been renewed alongside the usual cocktail of blood-thinning medication. If I’d had my painkillers, I was okay. Never great or anything, but okay. The funny thing is, I was never actually depressed during those first few weeks after the hospital. I cried a lot – a lot – but only out of physical pain, never mental or emotional. I guess the physical distress didn’t really leave room for any kind of emotional scarring at that point.

So is it completely bizarre to say I sometimes miss the agonising...

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