Technology is great and all, and I love the internet, don't get me wrong, but I do miss the simpler times, back when you could lose your friends in the line to get into the Tunnel only to meet a dashing stranger who whisks you off to Twilo instead, where you dance to Tricky for hours and hours and then somehow end up on the West Side Highway in a limo, speeding off to the lower east side where you go down into a basement recess and a man behind a door slides the peephole open and asks you the password which you don't have but the limo driver does and you go inside and it is so dark you can barely see the illegal roulette tables set up around the room and you end up smoking opium with a drag queen named Alex who keep saying that if she sneezes, "we could all go skiing up in here&qu...

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