Note: If you never took a whoopin’ as a child, just know that you probably deserved plenty of them. Heck, you might need one right now. If that applies to you or if you’re one of those people who don’t believe parents should ever whoop their young ‘uns, feel free to just skip this chapter; you’ll probably just get mad anyway.

I earned myself plenty of whoopin’s as a kid. Unlike the present generation, we understood whoopin’s to be a regular part of life then. My sisters and brother and I understood that if we misbehaved, we had made a down payment on a whoopin’. Well, Andy was a little slow on the learning curve when it came to behaving in church, but...

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