I would love to start this first series by introducing myself to you, whoever you are, wherever you are. Thank you for reading this. My name is Adeola Gabriel Ademuwagun. I know it’s a super long name, and I often chuckle hard while watching white people struggle to pronounce it. I’m originally from Nigeria, but I spent the last 10 years of my life in a place I would love to call my second home: South Africa. People often ask me why I left Africa for America. Well, I did it for the money. Just kidding! I did it because I love white people. White people are great because they tend to believe everything, and I mean everything, you tell them. And not just what they read on Facebook or see on Fox News. But I’m just kidding. Jokes on you! I actually left Africa during the pandemic. Right after they tried to curb the Coronavirus by restricting people’s movement, which was fine with me until they banned cigarettes and alcohol. I thought, 'This is starting to feel more like rehab than a continent.'

I’m not making this up. There was a law during the pandemic that stipulated you could go to jail for purchasing liquor or cigarettes illegally. Because you couldn't buy liquor and cigarettes legally, liquor and cigarettes became the new crack. Imagine going to jail for buying cigarettes. And on my first day in jail, I ask my fellow inmate, what are you in for? and he replies? Murder and  my fellow inmate asks, 'What are you in for?' I reply, 'A pack of Marlboro.' I’m going automatically become his prison bitch!

So, I figured it was time to leave Africa and go to a country where they didn't have such bans or restrictions. I chose America. I figured If they can't take away your AK47, prosecco is safe in America. I remember being at the airport in Chicago, worried about my Covid test still being valid after a day-long journey. I showed the immigration officer my Covid test who happens to be white. So  She asked, 'What is that?' I replied, 'My Covid test.' And She said, 'We don't give a crap about that here.' Then she asked where I was from. I replied, 'Wakanda.' That’s usually what I tell white people when they ask where I'm from. White people rarely ask follow-up questions after you tell them you are from Africa and you have an accent that makes you sound like a Uber driver. On the other hand When I’m being asked by a black person, where I’m from? I usually say I’m from Africa, and black people usually ask follow-up questions like, where in Africa are you from? But white people never ask for more details. They usually ask if I know Kunta Kinte though. I used to get mad at that question, but now I mess with them by saying, 'Of course, I know Kunta Kinte. He’s from Wakanda.' They're skeptical and ask, 'Isn't Wakanda fictional?' I reply, 'No, it's not. It's right next to Zamunda. You can even Uber there.'

Did you know that during the pandemic, over 50 million guns were sold in America? That's just in 2020. I know, 50 million guns is a lot. That's more than the population of people living in Wakanda. Well, at least that's how it's being reported on Fox News.

I'm also going to let you know what this series is going to be about. I would like to think of this series as a place where you can come to catch up on what happened during the week and over the weekend. I'll share what happened in my life and suggest places you could visit in Chicago over the weekend to have fun with your friends, partner, etc.

Speaking of what happened during the week, the infamous Fyre Festival founder, Billy McFarland, who pleaded guilty to fraud charges and spent a little less than four years in prison the last time he tried to throw a music festival in the Caribbean, has put tickets on sale for a second music festival in the Caribbean. He's naming it Fyre Festival 2, and here's the kicker: he doesn't have an official date, location, or lineup. I mean, how good was Fyre Festival 1? Usually, something people invest their time and resources in gets a sequel when the original experience made them feel good. Billy McFarland selling tickets for Fyre Festival 2 is like a musician releasing a remix to a terrible song you wouldn't listen to even if you were stuck on an island and that was the only thing available on your Spotify playlist.

It's like Adam Sandler trying to make 'Jack and Jill 2', or Matt Damon making 'We Bought a Zoo 2', or Tyler Perry attempting another Madea movie, or 'Cats 2'. Do you know which sequel I'm actually looking forward to? The Netflix documentary for Fyre Festival 2. The first one was called 'The Greatest Party That Never Happened', i have a feeling the titel for the sequel might be titled 'Fool Me Once, Shame on You!'

Fyre Festival 2 doesn't have an official date (they're targeting the end of 2024), location, or lineup — but the first 100 presale tickets are up for grabs at the low, low price of $499. After that, the price will steadily rise, with the final presale tier going for a whopping $7,999.

Billy McFarland has no artists booked, no location, and no dates, but he already knows how much he is going to charge. I think he is definitely for real this time around. He might as well change the name from Fyre Festival to 'White Lotus'. I mean, how can there be a sequel if the first one didn't even happen? It's like Bernie Madoff trying to run another Ponzi scheme. And if you are too young to get this reference, it's like Jordan Belfort from 'The Wolf of Wall Street' trying to run another penny stock scam and saying, 'I know what you're thinking'.

Honestly, I think you should buy tickets to the Fyre Festival if you like paying $8000 for cheese sandwiches on Wonder Bread.

Do you know what Young Thug, T.I., Lil Wayne, Scarface, Gucci Mane, Katt Williams, and Donald Trump have in common? They’ve all had their mugshots and fingerprints taken at the Fulton County Jail in Atlanta. Ladies and gentlemen, the Republican Party front-runner has more charges than four gangster rappers and the comedian from Friday combined.

You know, there's a push by legal scholars, including the influential conservative and former federal judge J. Michael Luttig, to encourage states to bar Trump from their ballots. The 14th Amendment technically bars those who support insurrection from holding public office. But that idea to end-run his candidacy, however appropriate on the merits, would have to be taken up by election officials in key states and survive a Supreme Court dominated by conservatives. So here's my thought on that: When you have more charges than a rapper named Lil Wayne, you probably shouldn't be running for president. One more indictment and this guy gets a free smoothie from Uncle Sam.

The GOP debate also happens to be occurring this week, which Trump has decided to skip. I honestly think he shouldn't, because there isn't enough time to fly out from Milwaukee on a Wednesday night after the debate to Atlanta and get your mugshot taken...Continue Reading