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It'll Feel Better when it Quits Hurting
By Lisa Orban

Series Description:

Many years ago my friends and I would sit around and play what we called "Jerry Springer: the Home Game". The object of the game was to see how many upcoming shows we qualified for, with the story to support our claim, and whoever had the most at the end of the program won. I was the reigning champion. This book started off as just a lighthearted collection of anecdotes, stories shared with friends over the years to both the horror and delight of my audience. But as I began to write I realized that the humor of my life comes not from the light moments, but the dark, and without those moments being included much of the humor would be lost without that context. This book is a bit darker than I initially intended, but I hope that while reading this I can make you smile, even on occasion laugh out loud at the ridiculousness of the situations I have found myself in over the years, and that you, like me, can find the humor in all the dark places. I do not believe I have any wisdom to share in this telling, nor is it even an inspirational tale of achievement by overcoming adversity, it is simply my life that I have survived. For better or for worse, this is the mostly true, fairly accurate, and almost completely factual account of my life. Some liberties have been taken to protect the somewhat innocent and a few small embellishments were made for the sake of a good story.

Category: Nonfiction Book Chapters
Updated: A Few Times A Week
Status: Ongoing



Author Bio For Lisa Orban:

I had a more formal bio to begin with on here, but I'm not a very formal person. So, let's get to know each other, shall we?

What would you like to know? I suppose we should start with why should you care and what makes me so important that you should be compelled to spend some time with me.

Well, I am an Indie author (I’m pretty sure that is stated already, but just to cover all our bases, I’m adding it here). I write memoirs, they are dark, funny, tragic and hilarious. If you don’t feel better about your own life and your own choices after reading about my misadventures in living, I’d be surprised. I am the reigning champion of “Jerry Springer, the Home Game” after all.​

I’m the mother of five (yes, you read that correctly, FIVE), all of which are grown and gone except my youngest who has a few more years yet before she is let loose into society. I’ve recently become a grandmother, and I expect that will happen more often as the years go by. One of these days I’m going to write a book about my children, much to their impending regret, but that what memoir writers do, they share their lives and their stories. And let’s face it, children are ripe fodder for the funny and the tragic, often all at the same time.

I live in a house where chaos is on the menu of the day, every day. For over a decade now I have taken in people in need, the homeless, the helpless and the lost. They come to me broke, and often broken, I give them a clean slate when they walk through the door, and a place to rebuild their lives. I have taken in pregnant women, vets, ex-cons, families and many others who all have one thing in common, somewhere along the way life has pushed them down to the point that they could no longer cope, and their world collapsed around them. When they leave my house, be it weeks or years later, each of them is ready to face the world again, and have gone on to scatter across the states in search of their dreams. (My not so secret dream is that maybe one of these days I will become a moderately successful writer and finally be able to put in that second bathroom I’ve always dreamed of having. In a house of sometimes 12 or more people, that’s no small thing! lol)

Also, I’m pretty funny.

So, I hope you will  give me a chance to make you laugh, maybe roll your eyes at me, snicker, and on occasion maybe shed a tear as I share my journey with you.

Acknowledgements:

To say that writers live & die by the words of reviewers would probably be a bit of an understatement. (It's sad yet true) And with that in mind, I would like to acknowledge a few of my reviewers who took the time out of their busy lives to read and review my book. I have many more reviews but these are some of my favorites:

Like mist slipping through my fingers, I was once again losing myself in someone else's life

Illinois born Lisa Orban has walked, run, been shoved through a wild beginning life and she is here to share that life with us. Not only does she write well (as though we were sitting next to her chatting) but she opens windows onto foster care, child abuse, domestic violence, teenagers’ angst at what exactly is an ‘adult’ and yet mixes all of this grim reality into a memoir that is profoundly involving and moving - and entertaining and full of some zingers that will have you howling. And despite all this she earned an Associates of Arts in Psychology and a minor in Art. ‘Over the years she has held many jobs, but never quite found the right one. She has written poetry and short stories on a variety of subjects from raising children to finance for online publication.’ And all this crazy quilt of background she now has written as a dark comedy that is based on her life that could settle in the genres of Chick Lit, memoirs, autobiography, or Young Adult fare.

This is not a book that is tidy to review: this is a book to experience, especially if the reader has no personal connection with the roughshod traipse through childhood and young adulthood Lisa has endured – and now manages to make us laugh with her (as well as try to overcome the desire to just give her a huge hug). Example of her fortitude: ‘Marrying Billy also meant an end to all the things I had been working towards, or at least, they would have to be put on hold. My plans to attend college in the fall, something I had dreamt of for so long, would once again have to wait. My independence, something I treasured even as I groped for it, would have to be set aside in the new reality of "we".’

Or better yet, taste this: ‘I am an adult now and I didn't grow up to be a Madame of a house of ill repute. In my life, I most often resemble the ringleader in a madhouse of anarchy. But sometimes, I wistfully remember the longing for flowers, gentleman callers, and enchantment that I think all of us have had at one time or another. Whatever that childhood ideal of adult life may have been. My life is not glamorous, no high society people come to call, and any dinner party I have ever had has ended in the verbal equivalent of a food fight. But, looking back on my life I realize by and large it has been a helluva ride that I wouldn't exchange for anything. So, this is my life, for better or for worse. I hope you enjoy the ride as much as I have enjoyed the roller coaster.’

While reading this memoir a tune from ‘Sweet Charity’ comes to mind – ‘If my friends could see me now’. But we CAN read her now, and if your psyche is aching for a massage, read Lisa’s fine book. You’ll feel better. - Grady Harp, Hall of Fame Top 100 Reviewer & Vine Voice

A Brilliant Debut

“It’ll Feel Better when it Quits Hurting” is a collection of narrative essays and a brilliant debut from author Lisa Orban. Part coming-of-age, part coming-to-grips, Orban tackles growing up in dysfunctional families, foster care and transitioning into adulthood through personal anecdotes told in a brisk style that makes it hard to put the book down once you pick it up.

Orban is upfront that the reader shouldn’t dive into her world expecting resolution and recovery by the end of the book, and while this might be refreshing for cynics like myself, it's also fresh way for the optimist reader to discover beauty and inspiration from the unconventional. Orban consistently illustrates this possibility through her reminiscences of both circumstance and consequence. Although her life is an emotional rollercoaster of ups, down and twists, she manages to keep the reigns steady on chaos and retains balance between tragedy and hilarity through her tales. While some may argue that there may be peace in finding normality, Orban demonstrates how deviating from social obedience encourages us to define the world we live in by giving it meaning, and she does just that.

This is an essential read for teens and young adults, particularly those dealing with family dysfunction - and for us older folks, it helps to repair the disconnect many of us experience between adolescence and adulthood because it’s easy to forget that we’ve actually been there. “It’ll Feel Better when it Quits Hurting” is an entertaining narrative that will stay with you long after you read it. - M. Harris

Creating Light

An excellent, powerful read. Lisa's writing is truly alive. Reading this book is like spending time looking through a scrapbook or photo album, and it is its episodic approach is exactly the proper way to share this story. At turns disturbing and hilarious, the book's larger message is this: It's possible to courageously face the darkness in life, and not just find the light, but create it. - Tracy Knight, author of The Astonished Eye

Simply Brilliant!

This is the best book that I have read it a long time. The subject matter is sometimes hilarious, sometimes tragic and always thought invoking. The narrative has a relentless pace which makes it more compelling than I could have dared to imagine. It swings between a homely, familiar tone and a breath-taking roller coaster of a read in which you cannot do anything other than wonder at the depth of character that the writer must possess in order to have come through the adventures and ordeals that she describes with such magnetic skill. I can't praise this book enough and urge you to indulge. - R.J. Hutton

An oddly a feel-good, quirky, hilarious memoir about friendship and the triumph of the human spirit

“It’ll Feel Better when it Quits Hurting”, which is good to know because you will be hurting. It’s not just the terrible tragedies and senseless injustices; you’ll also be hurting from laughing so hard, and then from the crazy antics, the keen wit, and the general hilarity of a teenaged rebel, who carries some of that with her into adulthood.

Knowing the book is mostly autobiographical, I do feel a little guilty for laughing so much, but I think Lisa would want me to. Throughout her portrayal of a God-awful childhood with parents who vacillate from sheer neglect to militaristic control, you have the abiding sense that she’s going to be ok. From her jail-house antics (don’t worry she didn’t do anything illegal) to her stubborn, almost masochistic refusal to play along, Lisa has a strong sense of self and a stronger sense of humor.

Perhaps that’s what makes it so hard, then, to see her later in an abusive relationship. You really want to do him bodily harm for trying to squash her amazing spirit (don’t worry, she’ll be ok), but Lisa is a survivor in every sense of the word.

While parts of the book are certainly dark and troubling, it’s never depressing. “It’ll Feel Better when it Quits Hurting” is oddly a feel-good, quirky, hilarious memoir about friendship and the triumph of the human spirit. Well written and very well done!

Cristel Orrand
Author of “Khayal” and “The Amalgamist

 







Series Description:

Many years ago my friends and I would sit around and play what we called "Jerry Springer: the Home Game". The object of the game was to see how many upcoming shows we qualified for, with the story to support our claim, and whoever had the most at the end of the program won. I was the reigning champion. This book started off as just a lighthearted collection of anecdotes, stories shared with friends over the years to both the horror and delight of my audience. But as I began to write I realized that the humor of my life comes not from the light moments, but the dark, and without those moments being included much of the humor would be lost without that context. This book is a bit darker than I initially intended, but I hope that while reading this I can make you smile, even on occasion laugh out loud at the ridiculousness of the situations I have found myself in over the years, and that you, like me, can find the humor in all the dark places. I do not believe I have any wisdom to share in this telling, nor is it even an inspirational tale of achievement by overcoming adversity, it is simply my life that I have survived. For better or for worse, this is the mostly true, fairly accurate, and almost completely factual account of my life. Some liberties have been taken to protect the somewhat innocent and a few small embellishments were made for the sake of a good story.

Category: Nonfiction Book Chapters
Updated: A Few Times A Week
Status: Ongoing


Author Bio For Lisa Orban:

I had a more formal bio to begin with on here, but I'm not a very formal person. So, let's get to know each other, shall we?

What would you like to know? I suppose we should start with why should you care and what makes me so important that you should be compelled to spend some time with me.

Well, I am an Indie author (I’m pretty sure that is stated already, but just to cover all our bases, I’m adding it here). I write memoirs, they are dark, funny, tragic and hilarious. If you don’t feel better about your own life and your own choices after reading about my misadventures in living, I’d be surprised. I am the reigning champion of “Jerry Springer, the Home Game” after all.​

I’m the mother of five (yes, you read that correctly, FIVE), all of which are grown and gone except my youngest who has a few more years yet before she is let loose into society. I’ve recently become a grandmother, and I expect that will happen more often as the years go by. One of these days I’m going to write a book about my children, much to their impending regret, but that what memoir writers do, they share their lives and their stories. And let’s face it, children are ripe fodder for the funny and the tragic, often all at the same time.

I live in a house where chaos is on the menu of the day, every day. For over a decade now I have taken in people in need, the homeless, the helpless and the lost. They come to me broke, and often broken, I give them a clean slate when they walk through the door, and a place to rebuild their lives. I have taken in pregnant women, vets, ex-cons, families and many others who all have one thing in common, somewhere along the way life has pushed them down to the point that they could no longer cope, and their world collapsed around them. When they leave my house, be it weeks or years later, each of them is ready to face the world again, and have gone on to scatter across the states in search of their dreams. (My not so secret dream is that maybe one of these days I will become a moderately successful writer and finally be able to put in that second bathroom I’ve always dreamed of having. In a house of sometimes 12 or more people, that’s no small thing! lol)

Also, I’m pretty funny.

So, I hope you will  give me a chance to make you laugh, maybe roll your eyes at me, snicker, and on occasion maybe shed a tear as I share my journey with you.

Acknowledgements:

To say that writers live & die by the words of reviewers would probably be a bit of an understatement. (It's sad yet true) And with that in mind, I would like to acknowledge a few of my reviewers who took the time out of their busy lives to read and review my book. I have many more reviews but these are some of my favorites:

Like mist slipping through my fingers, I was once again losing myself in someone else's life

Illinois born Lisa Orban has walked, run, been shoved through a wild beginning life and she is here to share that life with us. Not only does she write well (as though we were sitting next to her chatting) but she opens windows onto foster care, child abuse, domestic violence, teenagers’ angst at what exactly is an ‘adult’ and yet mixes all of this grim reality into a memoir that is profoundly involving and moving - and entertaining and full of some zingers that will have you howling. And despite all this she earned an Associates of Arts in Psychology and a minor in Art. ‘Over the years she has held many jobs, but never quite found the right one. She has written poetry and short stories on a variety of subjects from raising children to finance for online publication.’ And all this crazy quilt of background she now has written as a dark comedy that is based on her life that could settle in the genres of Chick Lit, memoirs, autobiography, or Young Adult fare.

This is not a book that is tidy to review: this is a book to experience, especially if the reader has no personal connection with the roughshod traipse through childhood and young adulthood Lisa has endured – and now manages to make us laugh with her (as well as try to overcome the desire to just give her a huge hug). Example of her fortitude: ‘Marrying Billy also meant an end to all the things I had been working towards, or at least, they would have to be put on hold. My plans to attend college in the fall, something I had dreamt of for so long, would once again have to wait. My independence, something I treasured even as I groped for it, would have to be set aside in the new reality of "we".’

Or better yet, taste this: ‘I am an adult now and I didn't grow up to be a Madame of a house of ill repute. In my life, I most often resemble the ringleader in a madhouse of anarchy. But sometimes, I wistfully remember the longing for flowers, gentleman callers, and enchantment that I think all of us have had at one time or another. Whatever that childhood ideal of adult life may have been. My life is not glamorous, no high society people come to call, and any dinner party I have ever had has ended in the verbal equivalent of a food fight. But, looking back on my life I realize by and large it has been a helluva ride that I wouldn't exchange for anything. So, this is my life, for better or for worse. I hope you enjoy the ride as much as I have enjoyed the roller coaster.’

While reading this memoir a tune from ‘Sweet Charity’ comes to mind – ‘If my friends could see me now’. But we CAN read her now, and if your psyche is aching for a massage, read Lisa’s fine book. You’ll feel better. - Grady Harp, Hall of Fame Top 100 Reviewer & Vine Voice

A Brilliant Debut

“It’ll Feel Better when it Quits Hurting” is a collection of narrative essays and a brilliant debut from author Lisa Orban. Part coming-of-age, part coming-to-grips, Orban tackles growing up in dysfunctional families, foster care and transitioning into adulthood through personal anecdotes told in a brisk style that makes it hard to put the book down once you pick it up.

Orban is upfront that the reader shouldn’t dive into her world expecting resolution and recovery by the end of the book, and while this might be refreshing for cynics like myself, it's also fresh way for the optimist reader to discover beauty and inspiration from the unconventional. Orban consistently illustrates this possibility through her reminiscences of both circumstance and consequence. Although her life is an emotional rollercoaster of ups, down and twists, she manages to keep the reigns steady on chaos and retains balance between tragedy and hilarity through her tales. While some may argue that there may be peace in finding normality, Orban demonstrates how deviating from social obedience encourages us to define the world we live in by giving it meaning, and she does just that.

This is an essential read for teens and young adults, particularly those dealing with family dysfunction - and for us older folks, it helps to repair the disconnect many of us experience between adolescence and adulthood because it’s easy to forget that we’ve actually been there. “It’ll Feel Better when it Quits Hurting” is an entertaining narrative that will stay with you long after you read it. - M. Harris

Creating Light

An excellent, powerful read. Lisa's writing is truly alive. Reading this book is like spending time looking through a scrapbook or photo album, and it is its episodic approach is exactly the proper way to share this story. At turns disturbing and hilarious, the book's larger message is this: It's possible to courageously face the darkness in life, and not just find the light, but create it. - Tracy Knight, author of The Astonished Eye

Simply Brilliant!

This is the best book that I have read it a long time. The subject matter is sometimes hilarious, sometimes tragic and always thought invoking. The narrative has a relentless pace which makes it more compelling than I could have dared to imagine. It swings between a homely, familiar tone and a breath-taking roller coaster of a read in which you cannot do anything other than wonder at the depth of character that the writer must possess in order to have come through the adventures and ordeals that she describes with such magnetic skill. I can't praise this book enough and urge you to indulge. - R.J. Hutton

An oddly a feel-good, quirky, hilarious memoir about friendship and the triumph of the human spirit

“It’ll Feel Better when it Quits Hurting”, which is good to know because you will be hurting. It’s not just the terrible tragedies and senseless injustices; you’ll also be hurting from laughing so hard, and then from the crazy antics, the keen wit, and the general hilarity of a teenaged rebel, who carries some of that with her into adulthood.

Knowing the book is mostly autobiographical, I do feel a little guilty for laughing so much, but I think Lisa would want me to. Throughout her portrayal of a God-awful childhood with parents who vacillate from sheer neglect to militaristic control, you have the abiding sense that she’s going to be ok. From her jail-house antics (don’t worry she didn’t do anything illegal) to her stubborn, almost masochistic refusal to play along, Lisa has a strong sense of self and a stronger sense of humor.

Perhaps that’s what makes it so hard, then, to see her later in an abusive relationship. You really want to do him bodily harm for trying to squash her amazing spirit (don’t worry, she’ll be ok), but Lisa is a survivor in every sense of the word.

While parts of the book are certainly dark and troubling, it’s never depressing. “It’ll Feel Better when it Quits Hurting” is oddly a feel-good, quirky, hilarious memoir about friendship and the triumph of the human spirit. Well written and very well done!

Cristel Orrand
Author of “Khayal” and “The Amalgamist