is it selfish
to bask in your attention
and affection
to crave warmth
after years of indifference
and chilly disregard
is it terrible
to want that thaw
and at the same time
be terrified of it
not knowing
if i can provide
the quid pro quo
it, and you, deserve
unable to predict
when my shell will crack
if or when
or never
is it selfish
to bask and maybe be
a little happy

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