i want to feel love
that encompassing warmth
not borne of obligation
but how can i ask
or expect
someone unrelated to stay
to give me that which
i cannot find within?
how can i deserve
that which i cannot convince
myself i deserve?
and so i huddle
in my own shadow and shiver
and cry without tears
grieving something
i know i've lost
and not sure
 i ever had

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