hospitals feel like an alternate universe. time is frozen and nobody else except for you exists. you’re forced to concentrate on yourself and it becomes difficult. there’s nothing you can do but think.

            i woke up and somehow ended up feeling worse than i did when i was attempting suicide. i saw my parents seated across the bed and they were concentrated on their phones and i knew in a matter of seconds they would realize i was awake and i’d have to deal with them. i hated the feeling of guilt and that was all i would be feeling for a while.

            it only took ten seconds for my mom to look up and see me. it was always hard...

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