Miss Bianca, as Paul Harvey used to concluded his radio broadcasts I say in greeting: 'Good Day!'
I'm glad to read you are going to write the quilt company that's good news! I'm also glad I could be a source of positivity for you from Oregon. If you don't mind me saying, I think it's a thick dick move your family doesn't support you in your prison endeavor. But I must say I am a bit aggravated my loyalty to Stace' is being called into question. I'm a huge Stacy Keach fan. What's this guard's name? It shouldn't have been an issue; my loyalty to the Keach is beyond reproach. The cypher was obviously a gamble. Though I must say, the way that cypher was redacted was like a work of art, I couldn't have redacted it better myself. I guess that's why they're probably considered professionals.
They are considered professionals, right?
Anyway, Oh yeah! I decided I'd try and 'drum' up an additional pen pal or two for you from my own stable of nerdewells. (Picture of stable and bongos)
As to comment on your crime, I wasn't actually all that curious as to what you did. I figured you probably got wrongfully imprisoned for dope or murder; you know, the usual crimes. That said,
It's pretty interesting you were a getaway driver. Maybe you'll like, get your law degree while imprisoned and prove you didn't do it by arguing against the definition of what a 'Getaway,' actually is, seeing as how you didn't actually 'get away:' hence how can you be charged as such? (That one's for free.)
I can see it now, 'Farrah V. The Old Dominion.' Could be a national attention grabbing case. Earth shattering even.
I do have to ask why you didn't try to evade Police though. If you're already guilty you might as well, punch it and try to hide under an overpass or something. (Picture of the iconic White Bronco)
Maybe even fire a few shots into the air at helicopters for good measure. I mean thanks to the judges I see on television these days, I'm under the impression there's no actual leniency for decent people that happen into unfortunate circumstances. (Not to say you are or aren't a decent gal, I don't know as of yet, you could be a case hardened denim limit exceeder, buying straight up looms of Levi denim for Soviet terrorists to sell on the black market, but they just happened to catch you on something bogus like, accessory to driving away with unpaid Big Gulps. ) But, no one on a Jury seems to understand the burden of proof and convicting on evidence that proves beyond a 'shadow of a doubt' these days. Hence, for some reason,
it's the crooks that are seemingly let to use the revolving door of the justice system. Maybe its the backdoor deals with the DA's always trying to make an example of fresh fish. Prison is a business after all, an American industry.
So had you been caught giving a good chase and not say: stopping immediately and surrendering willingly, you'd probably be out by now. DA's only wants penitent people don'tcha know? Anyway, please don't feel bad about my returning your picture. The idea was, you could get more people to write you by having it back in your possession. Like I suggested, sending it to the who/whomever form at the quilting supply company specifically, for instance.
Please let me know what they wrote back, if they do. I'm curious who you'll meet. Who knows, with my help and your own efforts I think you're gonna have a rather large pen pal chain in no time.
Also, don't forget to send me the name of the guard that was/is a Stacy Keach fan. I'll see if I can't get them to let my codes through; should I send any in the future. As for defacement of the last page of my original letter before you could see it, I did them one better and am sending it back so you could have it back in your possession. If you didn't get it back, that's probably because they confiscated it again. ;)
So, the Visitors and Bulls are scoping you out,
Huh? You aren't saying you're a regular prison matador, then are?
(one eyed matador picture; as if being matador didn't make you hard enough, one eye and mutton burns.)
Well, I should probably close for now. Many happy trails... in the yard.
P.S. I can't send cyphers or codes, but do you think I could send something in say... Latin and then you could perhaps have the chaplin translate it? Prisons have chaplains, right? They do in the movies and on HBO's 'Oz.' Did you see the one where Ryan O'Reilly's brother Cyril; played by Dean Winter's real brother was executed, but it was controversial because he was mentally handicapped? I bet that happens all the time, if I were to guess anyways. And not just in Texas either. Sure they like to advertise their bravado so that's why they're always associated with it, But, I'm bettin' handicap executions are a thing. Have you ever heard of a wheel chair accessible prison? Exactly. Neither have I. Not that I've looked into it or done the research, because, Frankly I haven't... I just watch 'Oz.' and Prison Break, obviously. You know, on account of Stacy Keach being the warden of the prison, Incase you happened to forget. But on the show, not a warden in real life.
Are there any women inmates in wheel chairs there? See. And if there were, I bet you they wouldn't be around long. Do you think people that like to run refrain from mentioning said hobby when asked by people in wheel chairs what they like to do for fun? I mean the closest thing to a hobby a paraplegic could entertain involving their legs is maybe... trimming their toe nails.
But to make it a hobby they'd probably have to do it in some special sort of way. If you think about it they are probably better positioned; not that a wheel chair is a good position to be in, even though 'seated' is quite nice, but i mean, they'd probably be in an even better position than like... a yoga master would, if they were to say: try trimming their toe nails with their teeth, you know... on account of their not being limited by the ability to feel when their hip joints pop out of socket like real people would in attempting to pull one or both of their feets up to their lips and mouths. (Is it 'mouth' or 'mouths' when you refer to paraplegics as a whole, but like contextually singular since you are kind of talking about 'them' by using a figurative 'one' as an example? 'cause lips makes sense. A paraplegic would pull their foot or foots both up to both lips but not- You know what, paraplegics weren't even the subject of the sentence, real people were, I just went back and checked (I'll underline it for you.) Crisis averted.) I'll use 'mouths.' Hey, Too bad 'Paraplajasitic' isn't a word. It sounds eclectic.
Though I wonder what it would mean if it was. Maybe you could take the word to the Chaplin and ask them to break it down by its Latin roots and structures for English sense and translation?
Anyway, yeah, I figure I'd probably pay to watch a wheelchairerer nibble himself down to the quick.
But for tax purposes if they were even moderately monetarily profitable in performing said nibbling it wouldn't be considered a hobby anymore; so... Cache - 22, So to speak. But hey, they say if to get paid for what you enjoy, it's not a job, right? And Lord can imagine it's enough of a job wheelin' that chair around, In the case it's electric; then you're worrying about thumb blisters and battery changes.
I don't really have hobbies, myself. But I do write when I can; Various projects, none of which have come to fruition. Though I don't really understand why.
Maybe after a few more years of work! Hmm. Hey, I'll punch up a one pager and send it along for yours and the guard's entertainment.
So you should be getting this letter, my alterations to the last page of your redacted first letter and a one page short of which I'll get started on directly. Perhaps it will be something I dream up about a place I have no experience with or knowledge of and the people that live there.
Oh, as to the subject of Meryl,
I don't really have a problem with Meryl herself, at all, I just can't stand the absolute blind hero worship people throw behind her. So what I hate is the seeming dynamic she can do no wrong. However, in regards to 'Marvin's room,' I do have adamant and absolute disdain for Diane Keaton. So it's funny you mention that film because where as I don't really mind Meryl, I involuntarily scoff and get irritable in Diane's case; at least when it comes to talent. Ultimately, unless the part written calls for Diane Keaton to play herself, she should not be in films. Diane Keaton playing herself is all we get anyway. Also she seems to have Meryl's hero worship, only from the Hollywood film maker circle and not the public. Speaking of actresses I hate, put Jane Fonda on the list too for what she did to POW's in Vietnam. What a See You Next Tuesday. I absolutely seethe when I see her name or face and she always plays a bitch; big surprise, so perfect casting, I suppose. Oh, and Susan Sarandon. Gross. So I have my reservations for them all but for different reasons. But ironically I'll take Meryl over any of them, all the feelings of my first letter no withstanding. Oh, and I censored Meryl's eyes for the sake of usage and anonymity. Just like I would do for you if I were to have say... put your photo up on the Internet somewhere...
Which is one reason you can be thankful I sent back your image. ;)
Boy, that was a long P.S.
P.S.S or is it P.P.S?
P.P.S: I'm using 'P.P.S'
I have included a toy for you to play with in your cell.
I imagine it's safe enough to pass non-lethal requirements. Hopefully it incites some nostalgia and passes the cooped up hours you have ahead of you. I truly believe imagination is one of the only true gifts we have left in this life
Here's to you and the Paraplajastics; wherever they are and to whatever they might be.
There's no shame in making 'Vroom Vroom' noises. In prison or otherwise. Noise sanctions notwithstanding.
(Classic Prison Toy)
GONNA START YOU A TWITTER! Send me ten things you want posted; 100 chars or so to make room for handles and emoji. (Emoji are like 3 char)
Censored Cypher solution revison:
1) Why Guards wont be bettered people for the good of jails
2) Eyes see revenge shout in powerful sin Doest the toil of a censor suffer disdain
Miss Bianca, as Paul Harvey used to concluded his radio broadcasts I say in greeting: 'Good Day!'
I'm glad to read you are going to write the quilt company that's good news! I'm also glad I could be a source of positivity for you from Oregon. If you don't mind me saying, I think it's a thick dick move your family doesn't support you in your prison endeavor. But I must say I am a bit aggravated my loyalty to Stace' is being called into question. I'm a huge Stacy Keach fan. What's this guard's name? It shouldn't have been an issue; my loyalty to the Keach is beyond reproach. The cypher was obviously a gamble. Though I must say,...
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