Hi Brian,

Nice to make your acquaintance... So to speak. I was quite pleased to receive your letter, to say the very least. Quite pleased. I don't know if you can believe it or not, but I don't even hear from my family in Oregon. Crazy, right? You'd think I did something to them by getting into trouble. To which, I should probably tell you what it was I was locked up for, now that I brought it up and so you don't wonder. Broad strokes: a friend of mine held up a convenience store while I was in the car waiting for her, when she came running out and screaming at me to drive, I did. I didn't really know what was happening before we were being chased by the police. When all was said and done I was convicted of assisting my friend in the heist. Dumb right? I'm not innocent, but I should have stopped the car once I realized what was going on, or not drove away at all, but I do feel a little taken advantage of in the matter. Anyway, I was considered an accomplice in the eyes of the Virginia justice courts and am serving out a seven year sentence with a possibility for parole in about three and a half. I would like to go to a prison closer to home, but it is really expensive and the job I have in the kitchen doesn't pay much of anything.  So I'm here for the foreseeable future. Also, as for food, we don't have anything like state funded omelets here. As great as the sounds, they would probably taste horrible if they did. 

With a few of your numerous questions answered, I have to admit I was a little disappointed to get my picture back. Don't

you know it makes a lady think she isn't attractive? I'm no Miss America but, I'd like to think I still turn a few heads outside this place. On the inside I occasionally catch guards, visitors and bulls staring, but it isn’t the same. Geez, I probably sound really narcissistic. 

So, the guards apparently found the code at the end of your letter amusing. I didn’t get a chance to read it, they redacted it, I guess you could say. 

I'll send it back, so you can see. Be advised they say that's your one 'gimmie,' "If I happens again they're sending your letter back." Those are normally automatic grounds for letter rejection. I loved that your letter was long, but letters that weigh too much or call into question Meryl Streep's acting also get sent back. ;) 

I also have to admit to you, I'm with the rest of America, I like her films. Especially that one with her and Leonardo Dicaprio, I think its called 'Marvin's Room.'

Which brings me to your question as to whether you can call me 'Micky.' As touched as I am you'd already like to give me a nick name, I'm kind of partial to my 'real' name. I also haven't seen the Streep film where she plays a Post-Menopausal Rocker mom. Personally, I hope I'm a ways away from menopause though, I have a lot of my paternal grandmother's genes and that scares me since she started growing in a sparse amount of thick, black foliculed hairs instead of a thick furry mustache. Not that there were a lot of them, it's just that they were quite similar in size to the smaller, mechanical pencil lead refills (the .05 ones). A lot of men I know don't even have hairs that thick. 

However, if any of that got me closer to Rick Springfield, I probably wouldn't mind so much. He's a dreamboat; it's a lady thing.

So, what did the cypher say? One of the guards said he's a Stacy 'Keach' fan and he didnt like your riffing on him or the Smile Train charity. He said you spelled his name wrong too. I still laughed though. 

Actually, I think there are a couple people here with cleft scars, that or they had abusive husbands. Ha! Too dark?

Those ladies are hardly children though and don't run the prison. But I don't think I'll be asking them directly how they got them, for the sake of not getting stabbed or having my looks beaten in. So, what do you do for fun or hobbies, and why do you think they censored Meryl's eyes?

Thanks again for writing back,

Bianca

P.S. You might be glad to know Im drafting a letter for the quilt magazine. Not anyone at a super max though, handlebar mustache or otherwise.

 

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CHANNILLO

Bianca's Second Letter
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Hi Brian,

Nice to make your acquaintance... So to speak. I was quite pleased to receive your letter, to say the very least. Quite pleased. I don't know if you can believe it or not, but I don't even hear from my family in Oregon. Crazy, right? You'd think I did something to them by getting into trouble. To which, I should probably tell you what it was I was locked up for, now that I brought it up and so you don't wonder. Broad strokes: a friend of mine held up a convenience store while I was in the car waiting for her, when she came running out and screaming at me to drive, I did. I didn't really know what was happening before we were being chased by...

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