Hello Bianca,
I know I haven’t written in a while and it's- this is hard to explain, but, well, your actions shook me. Couple that with various other stressors -specifically in the form of outside ultimatums and my… exhaustive responses to them- the thought of writing you, let alone figuring out ‘what’ to write, if I found that I could, has been quite the dilemma.

Having horribly related that, I feel it necessary I get right to it and inform you I’ve been posting our letters to a website and turned them into series people can subscribe to; not that very many are doing so, but it’s been brought to my attention this constitutes a huge deception on my part; something I've been doing since we first started writing each other. I just want you to know it wasn’t any of your own duplicity that motivated this. Simply my own selfishness. One could say: “It was (I) that shined you on first,” and they'd be right.

I suppose what’s important, so far as I sees it, is the two of us now hold equal footing, having both double-played one another. Well,… I still kind of owe you one, if we're keeping score: Strike One your lying about your actual crime and Strike Two your having Sydney Finch ‘pitch hit’ for you on the mound, as it were, but... like- while… wearing your uniform, I guess; a detail probably necessary to make a baseball association work correctly. Either way, I realize we’ve both been trying

to float the ball past one another in an under-handed way. And in taking all this time to consider the... dodgy, preserved cucumber of a ‘base burgling’ back and forth we’ve found ourselves engrossed, I think it would go a long way if we could just drop the egos, stop sending things out of bounds, move past previous errors and agree to let each other take the base we’re endeared to chase, as it were.

I know this must be a lot to take in -settling scores with stacked and saturated stats- especially considering I’ve enabled our exchanges for nationally pseudo-syndicated broadcast, however, I figure if I'm willing to knuckle through and curve around your slights perhaps you’d be endeared to slide past mine. Hence, I propose -if you are also willing to 'forgive the fouls' while still allowing me to 'calculate the count' and 'post the percentages'- we just let what has transpired ‘play as it lays,’ as it were.

In fact, if’n you should find such… ‘terms’ agreeable, I say we avoid even the slightest mentioning of any and all previously played, injunctive innings in the future altogether. Why even bring them up, you know?

And so, without any further, belabored… batting about, I suppose all that’s left is for us to come together as a team by your confirming you approve such an accord. But why even stress a reiteration of what has already been so thoroughly… ‘color commentated(’) upon?

Hows about for the sake of simplicity, unless you happen to find what I have proposed somehow, dare I declare: ‘unsportsmanlike,’ don’t even worry about replying to this letter.

We’ll call it an unspoken verification.

Or… 'Defensive Indifference,' if you prefer.

In which case, several weeks after I haven't received any mail from you, I’ll take that as a sign we can get back on the same playing field, sans any further… shutout, screwball, sacrifice squeezes… so to speak.

Chases, changeups and cock-shots aside, insofar as regards balls, not… balls, to be clear, I hope this finds you garnering good grabs and ducking dubious dollar-day dogs. Again… as regards ‘not balls.’

Oh, P.S., didn’t mean to sound so spurious and speciously sport specific.

-Brian

 

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CHANNILLO

Brian's 13th Letter to Bianca (Sport Specific)
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Hello Bianca,
I know I haven’t written in a while and it's- this is hard to explain, but, well, your actions shook me. Couple that with various other stressors -specifically in the form of outside ultimatums and my… exhaustive responses to them- the thought of writing you, let alone figuring out ‘what’ to write, if I found that I could, has been quite the dilemma.

Having horribly related that, I feel it necessary I get right to it and inform you I’ve been posting our letters to a website and turned them into series people can subscribe to; not that very many are doing so, but it’s been brought to my attention this constitutes a huge dec...

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