Hey Brother,

I don’t know what to write regarding your comment about my ‘trying to be funny.’ Is that how my letters read? I’ll confide in you this: I think your being socially conscious of how genuine your letters would have been if you were aware I was posting them for others to read from the very start versus how they’ll come off now that you do know is quite the inspired consideration. That you would even consider such a concern speaks to the inherent quality of your character and inborne selflessness, and is one of the very reasons I found it so important to include you in the first place.

Unfortunately, to address your concern directly, I believe regardless a person’s character, given the temptation of acclaim, there’s no real telling if they won’t turn into some fully, ‘fleshed-out,’ Fame Mons-- pudendal cleft. But even so… aesthetically speaking, even when they’re like- full… of themselves, to be clear, and like- all puffed up, in their look and… “way of being,” I guess you could say, I think that causes a-- ‘stir too. To say, from my own lips: ‘I don’t necessarily mind that kind of thing.’ It’s certainly not some quality needing like… trimmed away-- from a person’s character. But, maybe I’m a peculiar kind of guy thinking that, at least compared to those socially conditioned to expect them to be and/or even look a certain way. Can you imagine a world with only one type of flower? Consider the Corpse Flower, with its insect attracting scent

of rotting flesh and giant, protruding… (would ‘protuberance’ be right?) point being, even it’s beautiful, in its way, but if every flower was that way… then again maybe in that particular case its only opening every four to six years, it wouldn't be a bad thing, makes it an oddity people wouldn’t otherwise want anything to do with. I guess what I’m trying to relate is: if its natural and someone’s like- “born that way,” what’s really dictating its-- ‘they’re’ going against an aesthetic? It’s incessant ‘showboating’ that should be reserved, you know? Flamboyant, overly stuffed and adorned or not, nobody likes a braggart or wants it shoved in their face ‘every’ time they turn around. There’s something to be said for fresh, social-consensus free air. If people really want to trim something away, I say they should consider taking down those gross, long fingernails that serve no actual pragmatic function.

I’m hard pressed to see you coming off as a martyr though. Sure, it’s apparent you try to be… ‘consistent’ with the realist advice you give, but you’re nowhere near ‘religious’ with it. You’ve also been like a voice of reason to my… incongruent flipside. Needless to say, there’s nothing 

wrong with being a voice of reason, regardless its instilling in me your desired impetus.

Which actually brings me to the crux your concern: my drawing up and sending along the letter you composed to oust my actions. It’s just... I didn't realize we were playing a game of 'Brian’s Bargain,' and you were in the ‘Seated Commander’s--

Well, if we weren’t playing the game before, I guess we are now, as per the ‘Rules of instigation.’ Kudos to you for having me mention it-- in turn inciting the game and placing me in the position of ‘the Brian’ and you as 'the Commander.'

But, you're already playing all wrong asking me to do the one thing I obviously don't want to do, which would be for me to write and actually send the letter, Which, as per the rules, of ‘Brian’s Bargain,’ -in a nice bit of irony that works out in my favor and is ultimately the impetus for you to lose the game by first reaching existential crisis- is the 'one command' the commander can't command.

Or the ‘non-Commandable (sic) Command’ as it’s known, as per the rules.

Of 'Brian's Bargain,' that is.

You do know, ‘Brian’s Bargain’ don’t you? Perhaps you know it as ‘Dykeman’s Dicker,’ as it’s more often referred;

‘Dykeman,’ being a little more... popularly proclaimed, specifically when the word itself, as I’m sure you’re aware, is taken to mean: “an individual with a certain… shall we say ‘Perfected Prowess’ and ‘Defined Dedication,’ between the sheets specifically; particularly when the bed is a four plus poster,” or: “an instance when an individual

persists with a joke they think is funny, but isn’t, to the point it becomes funny.” (Not to say, ‘I’ personally claim ownership of said qualities, they’re just definitions I found in course of researching the name.)

Anyway, much like 'the Game,' game, but without a loss being instigated due to its being thought about  -in which case I just lost and so did you for reading this and thinking about it; depending upon which rules of 'the Game' you ascribe to-  as per the ‘Rules of Instigation,’ for ‘Brian’s Bargain,’: the one that refers to whether or not two people are playing the game is the one that instigates the state of play and automatically assumes the role of 'the Brian,' unless the one automatically placed as 'the Commander' doesn't want to play, in which case they are still 'the Commander,' but automatically assigned the role of 'the Brian' and must wait until a Transition Turn before they can attempt to regain their role as 'the Commander,' proper.

You know what, this is all probably a little confusing, I’ll assume you don’t know what I am talking about, so, I’ve included the rule book for your perusal, to clear things up...

'Brian's Bargain' that is.

You can find the rules for 'the Game' game out on the internet.

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CHANNILLO

Brian(w)'s 8th Letter to Brian(e): Part I ('Dykeman's Dicker')
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Hey Brother,

I don’t know what to write regarding your comment about my ‘trying to be funny.’ Is that how my letters read? I’ll confide in you this: I think your being socially conscious of how genuine your letters would have been if you were aware I was posting them for others to read from the very start versus how they’ll come off now that you do know is quite the inspired consideration. That you would even consider such a concern speaks to the inherent quality of your character and inborne selflessness, and is one of the very reasons I found it so important to include you in the first place.

Unfortunately, to address your concern directly, I believe regardless a person’s c...

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