neglected for years. Naturally, no one wants any part of her geriatric crisis, and rightfully so, in the rock world you have to be a certain transitional phase of cool/solid to get away with abandoning your offspring and still be a god in their eyes -consider the Steven Tyler/Liv Tyler dynamic- a sublimation Meryl in matriarchal-rocker form just can’t pull off. As an actor, on the other hand, the phase transition seems reversed, like… Deposition from gas to solid. Hence, as universally loved as Meryl is, as an actress specifically, I’m imagining she could totally pull off such a maneuver with her daughters and son. To her credit though, she’s probably a great mother… the kids taking Dad’s name in this case (a direct contrast to the rocker/Tyler paradigm).

Shifting ‘real-world’ Streep concerns back to Ricki, perhaps part of my issue concerns a band like hers not being capable of existing anywhere but exclusive to the likes of a cruise circuit, let alone attaining any believable modicum of fame. And while fornicating with your drummer -Rick 'Jesse's Girl' Springfield- might fall in line with fantasies of the aging female demographic this cinematic entry is geared toward, I feel it's a largely unrealistic endeavor; Rick’s obviously only front man material.

Have you ever heard it proposed ‘Ferris Bueller's Day Off’ all took place in Cameron’s mind? The theory posits, he -the most unpopular kid in school- dreamt it all. After all, why would Ferris -the most popular kid in town- and his hot girlfriend Sloan, hang out with him, let alone pressure and 

 prod him to go out with them even if they did exist? And if they did, why not just ditch him later to pal about in the Ferrari, the way ‘real’ cool kids would?

I mention this because Ricki would work great if it was just her ‘dreaming’ of being a Rock Star. (To the picture’s credit, maybe it is, I haven’t seen it.) I mean, nothing against… Post-Change women chasing utopian dreams and staying in their children’s good graces, but unless you’re an established institution like Joan Jett -with her two hit songs- or a Bonnie Raitt type with the ‘Heart’ of a Wilson sister, who's going to suspend that much disbelief while efforting to identify with an existential family struggle of such a specific type? Albeit, it is possible I'm being harsh. It’s quite possible my attitude about the movie and Meryl’s popularity in general is more about my jealousy over how great an actress everyone purports her to be. Assuming 'purports' is the right word.

You know what, I just decided, while the name Ricki is still tarnished, I’m going to momentarily divest my scorn for Meryl’s assumed greatness. Objectively, the automatic assumed quality bequeathed the picture from Meryl’s attachment is probably the root of the problem; especially considering the subject and substance of the picture can’t even hope to be the equivalent of fish guts you'd chuck for chum.

My having heard a Great White will rise for just about anything, notwithstanding. 

 

To include license plates and suits of armor, if the content I’m remembering from the Zoo Books© of my childhood have any credence.

 

Moving on…

- Are there decent meal options in prison?

An omelet bar would be choice. But burnt flap jacks, rheumy roe and some potato realized carbohydrate seems more in line with my mental picture of Big house fare. Do you think there’s any stock in the idea some people don’t want to leave prison? If that fiction follows reality I bet there’s an omelet bar involved. Who’d willingly abandon a state funded omelet bar?

I wonder if Meryl ever did a prison flick? Talk about automatic fodder for flinging another Oscar at her. In a literal case she’d have to remember what she didn’t learn from the set of ‘a League of Their Own’ and catch it.

You should write the screenplay, cash in on the current surge in Feminism. Meryl could play you and the whole ‘Ricki and the Rockband’ episode could have been like- a hot-flash fever dream. It’d also ironically explain the feature’s actual title while giving a wink and a nod to the Newhart series finale.

I guess what I’m trying to write in all of this is: 'Mickey' is a cool prison name. Then again, you might not get your mail with it; not having been in possession upon conviction. I think that’s how that works. I must confess this is my first time writing an inmate. But in the spirit of full disclosure, this whole thing just kind of landed in my lap. There’s never been a precedent to think far enough ahead in life to do any legal research for such a thing.

I was thinking, you should write to the quilt magazine for a pen pal. I bet if you wrote: "I've always said quilting is the future of America;" or "I've always believed quilting was the first form of social media" whatever guy or guys are on the other end of the quilt would be putty in your manacled hands. Look at it logically, once all the old people and computers burn out who's going to be left that knows how to make blankets? The Quilters. Maybe a prison type pen pal is in the cards too? Maybe some brute or Hedge fund fraudster posted to a supermax. Fingers crossed you don’t get the bald, handlebar-mustached guy with the pair of eyes tattooed on the back of his head. Or the huckster who embezzled from the children’s charity. Far be it from me to suggest the sort to flirt with; maybe you like thieving hucksters. Just cease contact if they attempted to heist the Smile Train©. That’s one charity I can’t abide malicious intent upon. Life’s hard enough, no one should have to go through it with a cleft palate.

 Can you imagine a child with cleft palate in prison? I can. With their little hands the manacles are too big for and bars they can squeeze their heads between. How about those baggy, striped jumper/romper/onesie sets two sizes too big? On the bright side, said flourish would probably bring immediate and thorough block cred. Though hardly a child presently, in Stacy Keech's case, he was the warden in Prison Break's first season. I think he maintains his moustache to hide the scar even though he doesn’t need to. What with his being the Keech and all.

I guess what I’m trying to write is: I think the Train is important. Maybe more than say... clean water-

Well maybe like- equal parts important. 65/40. (The extra five percent for fund raising, quilting materials and charity oversight.)

The NFL should do a Smile Train™ month. But what ribbon color, right? (Motif’d Mouth guards a little too… on the nose, as it were) I like Puce, but it might be too close to mammary cancer pink. (‘Breast’ cancer too effeminate a term in the cases it’s diagnosed on a dude.) Well, maybe ‘Mammary’ is too... I don't know, they’re both too… scientific- or what’s the word… ‘Clinical.’

And ‘Tit cance’ ‘ it’s too… street.

Anyway, I'll be closing for now. The phones have been ringing quite a while and since the manager clocked me out for some reason I’m presently working only on commission.

Oh, I'm returning your photo to increase your chances with the other folks I’m pressuring you to write.

 Hey, If I put a blatant Caesar cypher in a letter and left the code do you think the guards would have to decode it? Let’s find out. I'll leave one for you and big brother. You can guess which is for whom.

Is that the right who/whom form? I can’t decide if you guessing is the subject of the sentence.

sol   I   J K  L M N O P Q R S T U  V W X Y  Z A B C D  E  F G H

Key A B C D  E  F G H  I   J K L M N O  P Q R S T  U V W X Y Z

 

1) BPM BZQILK ZQWB IB UQLVQOPB

BPQZBG LMK BEW VQVM. JM ZMILG!

2) TQSM ZGM AUQTQVO JIKWV WV

AMIAWVML EZG. AIDDG XQO UMMB

IB I RMEQAP JISMZG UMIBQVO?

 

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CHANNILLO

Brian's First Letter to Bianca (2)
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neglected for years. Naturally, no one wants any part of her geriatric crisis, and rightfully so, in the rock world you have to be a certain transitional phase of cool/solid to get away with abandoning your offspring and still be a god in their eyes -consider the Steven Tyler/Liv Tyler dynamic- a sublimation Meryl in matriarchal-rocker form just can’t pull off. As an actor, on the other hand, the phase transition seems reversed, like… Deposition from gas to solid. Hence, as universally loved as Meryl is, as an actress specifically, I’m imagining she could totally pull off such a maneuver with her daughters and son. To her credit though, she’s probably a great mother… the kids taking Dad’s name in...

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