Alexis Blackwell's diary, July 25, 2003

My nightmares won’t stop.

It’s the door, still, and that feeling of dread that when it opens, it’s going to unleash something that will destroy us all. I don’t know what it is, but it will be horrible.

And I know it’s not real. It can’t be real. But I can’t go to sleep without having this nightmare, and I can’t stop sleeping. If I go to Nurse Harmony for something to help me sleep, she’s going to want me to talk about my nightmare. And I just can’t. Even thinking about it during the light of day gives me goosebumps and makes me want to throw up.

Mary is sleeping better now, so that’s good. But holding her hand while I sleep still leaves my hand cold. When I woke up...

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