CHICAGO: "But I saw him"
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“Are you ever sad that you lost the baby?”

Before Lainey, nobody had ever asked me that before. and I’d never stopped to ponder the question. Like how I always handled sadness, I just kept pushing forward.

But Lainey asked the question as we stirred lattes at a coffee shop in the suburbs, on the way out to a day off of shopping at the outlets in Wisconsin. We both looked over at the screaming toddler three tables away from us, and the mom trying to balance a fussy child, a cup of coffee and a ringing cell phone.

“Am I sad about missing out on that? No way.” I looked down and scraped the edge of the empty red mug with my thumbnail. “But I’m sad that losing a baby, well, losing a fetus, was what ended my relationship with Jamie. I’m still sa...

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