and now he bought nice clothes and we went to every restaurant up and down the Upper West Side.  He started talking about us getting married and I began dodging the subject.  He confessed that he wanted to get me pregnant and couldn't wait to have a family.  This freaked me out.  He was my first love, I wanted to give him everything.  But the lioness in me knew I would never become a house cat.  I needed to roam wild untamed by love.  Love made me fiercer.  Love made me stronger.  Strong enough to not be able to say “yes” to his pre-proposal of marriage.  Then I started to question the relationship – did he want to marry me or just want to get married?  My answer to him was “if we're together in five years, yes, we'll get married...

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